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One Yellow Door: A Memoir of Love and Loss, Faith, and Infidelity
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One Yellow Door: A Memoir of Love and Loss, Faith, and Infidelity

Author: Rebecca de Saintonge
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'My dear Jack--before I met you my life seemed like a train pulling a trail of emptycarriages, and then there you were, and suddenly most of them were full--with peopleand noise and laughter, with faith and vision and your extraordinary, electric vitality.'

'So now, my love, I know the worst. Your brain is shrinking inside your skull. You aregoing to disintegrate very slowly, mind and body. You will feel our loving in rags andyour God absent and I will hold you to my breast and cradle the shell of your skull,for you will have gone, my lover, my dear one. But not quite.' 'I know that I cannotbear the pain of Jack's situation any longer, unrelieved. To survive and provide himwith the buoyant atmosphere he wants, I have to have hopes and horizons beyondhim. These horizons have included another person.'

When Rebecca de Saintonge's husband Jack developed Lewy Body Dementia--anincurable degenerative brain disease--she faced the dual challenge of trying to keepthe integrity of their relationship intact while also avoiding her own destruction withintheir diminishing world. She survived by taking a lover.

Through extracts from Rebecca's journal, One Yellow Door explores the conflictingemotions and complex ethics of infidelity in marriage where one partner is severelydisabled. It is about a re-thinking of traditional faith and the discovery of a new,deeper spirituality, and ultimately about the indestructibility of love.


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