''No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.'' This intensely personal journal, written by Lewis after the death of his wife, probes the ''mad midnight moments'' of his mourning; moments when he questioned his beliefs in life and death, marriage, and even God. With brief, poignant insights, Lewis puts into words the feelings and struggles we all go through when we've lost a loved one. This thoughtful gift edition includes a foreword by Madeleine L'Engle. 89 pages, hardcover from HarperCollins.